Sunday, January 4, 2009

Deciding I Wanted More

I'll never forget the day I decided I would be a mother to many. It was not something I had just always known or even something I came to gradually.
The date was May 19th, 2002. I had learned just over a month before that I was pregnant. I had no plans for more babies and had not, in fact, planned the one I was currently carrying. But that day changed everything. That was the day our baby, a boy named Carter, died.
I came from the hospital that day devestated beyond description. My life was turned upside down by a single moment. Never had I realized just how precious the life of a child, MY child, was. It was that day, as silent tears poured down my face, that I determined to have as many children as I possibly could.
Here I am, seven years later and the happy mom of four with a fifth on the way. My oldest two are twins, boys and are five years old. They are Gideon and Gabriel. Gabriel is as obssessed as I am with green living and takes our recycling and compost on as his life-calling. Gideon wants to be a Kirby salesman and loves our cat, fresh apples and reading.
My next child is another boy, aged five. Micah is the loudest creature you will ever meet and posesses the sweetest spirit known to man. He gives more cuddles than I can sometimes bare.
Our youngest at the moment is our only daughter, age two. Loralei is beautiful and sweet and dramatic and definately the princess of our home.
Our fifth (a surprise until d-day!) is due on June 8th and with any luck at all, will be my first homebirth and third VBAC. We are looking forward to this little one's arrival with great expectations!
Choosing to have a large family has been one of the most fulfilling and challenging things I've ever done. It sometimes frustrates me to tears and sometimes brings so much joy I think my heart my break. It is a choice I have never regretted and carry through now with hope and love. This blog is my journey. These children are my life, my legacy, my pride and my joy.


Anonymous said...

Nice to see another large family out there! We are a family of soon to be seven. Our oldest twins are 7. We also are trying to adopt from county and international, so no telling how many well get! Have you joined Above Rubies? I love the magazine. Bless you. Alida w4 Soli Deo Gloria (For the Glory of God alone) "May all who come behind us find us faithful."

Jess said...

I saw your blog linked from bbc and I just wanted to say that this is a beautiful post. It feels like large families are too few and far between. We only have five and are done but I would have loved to have many more! I love that you are planning a homebirth. We went the freestanding birth center route last time nad had a great experience. I would have preferred a homebirth, though. Good luck!

Lacey said...

Thanks ladies for the kind words.

Sabrina said...

I found it too from bbc! I love that last paragraph! Beautiful! Hooray for large families!